


Call (and Response)

by Misty_Reeyus



Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Dependency Issues, Family, Friendship, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 02:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7556557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misty_Reeyus/pseuds/Misty_Reeyus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A field battle gone wrong ends with Judith’s antennae getting sliced off at the stems. The result: Ba’ul goes dead silent—and for the first time in forever, Judith is entirely alone inside her own head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call (and Response)

**Author's Note:**

> for [ the bbtales event](http://bbtales.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. which means that this fic was supplied with awesome art, which i've linked in the endnotes.
> 
> **warnings:** antennae amputation, liberal interpretations of krityan culture and biology, unhealthy coping mechanisms as a response to being forcefully denied communication with someone who facilitates significant psychological dependence, unhealthy sad-bad thoughts in general.
> 
> basically, i wrote this to make myself cry.

Judith notices when her antennae come off because it _hurts_.

She's not even sure how exactly it happens, because she's so absorbed in battle that before she can keep track of any attack, she's already right in the middle of another one. She moves before she thinks, dodges and parries from pure instinct—but she's so focused on slicing her spear through one mantis monster's gullet that she just doesn't notice the pincers of another one whooshing along the back of her head until it's too late. Until every nerve in her body suddenly bursts out _screaming_.

Pain roars so loudly in her mind it overtakes her every thought, but thankfully, fighting isn't something Judith has ever needed to think about. The rest of the battle is a complete blur, but she manages just fine, clarity only coming back to her a good while after the last mantis monster corpse has fallen at her feet. With the most immediate danger eliminated, Judith reaches instinctively into her bag for the gels and inhales them greedily, apple and lemon and melange all blending into a melt of fruity goo in her mouth. But although the medicine closes up her wounds and lightens her bruises until they all blend flawlessly back into her skin, her antennae are still stinging.

Her hand reaches back to assess the damage but finds _nothing_ , and when she turns around and her eyes land on two distinct objects lying in the sand, it's suddenly very hard to breathe.

The world starts spinning around her and Judith falls more than bends down to her knees to get a closer look. There's no blood along the cuts, but where they were once full and lifelike, her antennae now just lie limp, faded, dull, kind of like how dead grass would probably look if grass was normally blue instead of green. Panic strikes Judith first, and then a sense of urgency, but as futility sets in, she finally settles into something of a mindless shock. Even knowing they're useless now, Judith picks up what's left of her antennae and clenches her fists around them.

This is exactly why she puts her hair in a bun, because hair can get caught in things or slow you down in battle (frankly she doesn't know _how_ Yuri manages to fight with his rampant mess flying in his eyes all the time), but she had never liked tying up her antennae. Sure, they were similar to hair in that they were practically just as flimsy, but they were also sensory organs, and they were all too sensitive to even the slightest touch, and they were uncomfortable when they were restrained for too long. Honestly, Judith had never thought restraining them would ever even be necessary.

Perhaps that was foolish of her.

The phantom pain Judith still feels along the back of her head taunts her, sending her gut churning and making her throat close up as her mind swims with the ringing echo of _I messed up_. A storm cloud builds and swirls within her, and without even really thinking about it, she instinctively reaches out for Ba'ul in her mind. Whenever bad thoughts start to swarm her, she's always been able to rely on him to help her stay strong...

Except this time, he doesn't respond.

Judith had been too in shock to realize it before, but now she notices that the space in the back of her mind where Ba'ul has always been is now _empty_. A second wave of shock washes over her, leaving her floating and numb and horrified in a merciless sea of _no no no no no NO_ —

Except it's actually _yes, of course_ , because her antennae are sensory organs. They're the reason that her power of the nageeg works, they're the reason that she and Ba'ul are able to have and maintain their telepathic connection, so logically speaking, if they're gone...

Oh no.

Still clutching her own detached antennae, Judith forces herself up to her feet, dashing as fast as she can back to where she can see Ba'ul's large form. He's exactly where she left him, parked with the ship in the field further up the beach, and she's nearly out of breath by the time she gets there, but that doesn't stop her from breaking into a sprint the moment she's close enough. She throws her arms over his enormous chin in an embrace, but even though Judith can feel him beneath her fingertips, warm and breathing and vibrating in a way that momentarily puts her at ease, she still can't touch him with her mind.

Ba'ul moans at her in what Judith can only guess is a mix of confusion and worry and sadness. That's what _she_ feels, anyway, so that's probably what he feels too, but suddenly it hits Judith that she can't be sure. She can only _guess_ what Ba'ul himself must be thinking right now, and guilt crushes mercilessly down on her chest. Judith is just as much Ba'ul's best friend as he is hers, but because she wasn't paying enough attention in a fight that she should have won without a hitch, their telepathic connection is gone.

In battle, there's always a chance of getting badly hurt. Judith was always willing to take that chance—because fighting was often her best option, and she was just that confident in her own strength, and the thrilling rush of a hard-fought battle always made her feel so _alive_. She thought she'd be able to accept the consequences too, and up until now, she had been: she's been injured before, she's been on the very edge of _death_ before, but none of that ever dampened her enthusiasm for the activity.

But this?

This is a hollow, horrible feeling that Judith has never before known. Ba'ul is her best friend, the only person who she's always been able to tell anything and everything she thought and felt without even having to say a word. But now, she's lost her only means of communication with him, and she can feel hopelessness slicing a hole in her chest, clinging to the center and weighing down on her lungs until again she _can't breathe_ —

Judith vigorously shakes her head, snapping out of it. No, she can't give up, she can't let this happen, there has to be _something_ she can do...

"...Myorzo," Judith breathes in realization, because this is a Krityan thing and her best hope of fixing it is finding other Krityans. Stepping around and glancing up to lock gazes with her large friend, she urges, "Ba'ul, I need you to take me to Myorzo. The Elder _has_ to know something."

It's weird, being forced to say what she wants out loud, but thankfully, even though he can't speak human language at all, Ba'ul understands it well enough. A cry rumbles from his throat, letting Judith know he's got it covered, so she climbs onto the ship, dragging her decrepit antennae along with her on the miniscule chance that maybe they'll be of some sort of use. Ba'ul takes off the ground, and Judith can only presume he's following the will of Krones when he turns in a particular direction and soars on.

The entire ride is so silent Judith wants to scream.

* * *

There's a reason Judith doesn't especially like coming to Myorzo.

It's not that the people here were ever mean to her, because they weren't. In fact, she was so obviously broken after surviving Temza that everyone in town constantly pitched in to make sure she was properly washed and clothed and fed, and Judith will always be grateful for that. But of the same token, she was so broken after surviving Temza that she barely spoke to anyone besides Ba'ul, that nobody else ever tried to get close to her. That despite how Myorzo was where she lived for most of her adolescence, Judith always comes back to it feeling like a complete stranger.

The myriad sets of eyes that follow her as she quickly walks through town do nothing to abate that feeling, but Judith can't very well blame the people of Myorzo for staring. You'd have to be blind not to notice the clear disfigurement on the back of her head, and the Kritya are a curious people, naturally drawn to anything abnormal. Judith thinks some of the onlookers, the older ones, even hold some _recognition_ in their gazes towards her, but she doesn't recognize any of them and doesn't bother sticking around to catch up.

It occurs to her that it's at moments like this, when confronted by even simple stressors, that Ba'ul usually pops in to help alleviate her thoughts. Only now that Ba'ul can't do so does Judith realize just how _often_ these moments happen.

Judith resists the urge to knock when she finally reaches the Elder's place and instead just pushes open the unlocked door—humans may like their privacy, but in Myorzo, it's customary that every door be open to everybody. Thankfully, the Elder isn't on one of his infamous walks; he's actually inside, seated at his large table with a steaming teacup before him. He looks up as the door creaks open, and his gaze first flits over the spaces where Judith's antennae are supposed to be, then meets her own gaze as he murmurs, "Oh dear."

Judith skips the pleasantries; the Elder never took offense to her lack of manners anyway. "You can see what I want to talk to you about."

"My my," the Elder says, stroking his chin. He takes a sip from his cup with one hand and gestures to the chair across from him with the other, but Judith shakes her head—she's fine right here, right by the door, where she'll be able to quickly get away from this conversation the moment she's sure she's heard all she can. "It has been a long time since I've seen someone injured like this. Several decades, I think."

That doesn't surprise Judith. There's much less opportunity for anyone in this town to get hurt seeing as none of them fight for sport down in the human world on a regular basis. But getting back to the important part.

"But you _have_ seen this before," Judith urges, gesturing vaguely to the back of her own head. "Then is it possible to...treat it somehow? Is there some way to restore the power of the nageeg without our antennae?"

"There is no treatment," the Elder says simply, shaking his head, and though Judith had been fully expecting an answer like that when she came here, she downheartedly bites her lip and lowers her gaze to the floor anyway—

"Our antennae are regenerative appendages. Simply leave them alone, and they will grow back on their own."

Judith whips her head back up. "Is that true?!"

The Elder nods, and for a brief, wonderful moment, hope lifts the heavy weight off Judith's chest entirely. It immediatelycomes right back down, of course, and still anchors her heart, but at least when it does, the weight is a bit lighter than before.

"They'll grow back?" Judith repeats, just because she wants to hear it again. Tension rushes out of her so quickly she only barely stops herself from physically slumping back against the door. "And I'll be able to use the nageeg again?"

"With time, yes," the Elder takes another noncommittal sip. "Your antennae were renowned among us for being quite strong, and healthier than most. I suspect it won't take more than three or four months before you can use the nageeg again."

It's not exactly the shortest recovery period, but Judith will take what she can get—she's already lucky it's not permanent. And frankly, that's all she needed to know.

"Thank you, Elder." Nodding gratefully, Judith turns away and reaches for the doorknob...

"Are you sure you do not want to stay here?" the Elder continues. "We of Myorzo could help oversee your recovery."

Judith pauses in place but doesn't pull her hand back from the handle, glancing back over her shoulder. "You said they'll grow back so long as I leave them alone, correct? Then I'll be fine recovering anywhere."

The Elder humphs, but appears to drop it as he returns to sipping his tea. He's never quite understood why Judith always insists on leaving, but then, he's never quite understood anything about her. He doesn't care enough to stop her, either, so Judith doesn't waste a second getting out the door and back to where Ba'ul is waiting back at the city entrance.

The Elder was good to her when she was in need, and Myorzo as a whole was good to her when she needed a place to live—but her real family is elsewhere, and they need to hear the news as soon as possible.

"Ba'ul?" Judith says, shoving down the part of her that still hates having to speak to him aloud. "Let's head back to Brave Vesperia."

* * *

Judith is guilty of being the guild's resident free spirit. Everyone in Brave Vesperia gets their fair share of free time, of course, but in particular, she's guilty of taking the Fiertia out for joyrides, just her and Ba'ul, that can last up to a couple weeks. She was only a few days into one of these when she decided to fight those mantis monsters, so her guildmates probably weren't expecting her to come back quite this soon—but they must have seen Ba'ul coming from the distance, because Yuri and Karol are already there to greet her the moment she touches down on the outskirts of Dahngrest.

The ship hits ground, and Judith can't even get a word out before Karol rushes her, vaulting onboard and swiftly yanking her into a hug. Judith should really be used to it by now—Karol is sixteen and only a couple inches shorter than her and he's been big and strong enough to sweep her off her feet ever since puberty worked its magic a couple years ago—but somehow, he keeps managing to catch her off guard anyway. Judith yelps in surprise and playfully smacks Karol in the back for his trouble; she grins despite herself while he pulls away rubbing his back and laughing.

Then Karol's gaze evidently falls across her stumps for the first time, and his laughter stops, his eyes going wide and confusion furrowing his brow. His whole face scrunches up as if he just doesn't know what to make of what he's seeing.

"Ummm," Karol starts, making wide gestures at the general area of her head. His whole demeanor is suddenly hesitant and shy, very much unlike the spirited boy who had so enthusiastically greeted her. "Is that supposed to be, like...a haircut or something?"

The question makes Judith go very still and very silent, and she knows Karol didn't mean it in a bad way but she doesn't know how to respond. No, it's not as simple as a haircut, it's the loss of what she hadn't realized until just recently was one of the _most important_ organs in her entire body—but her stiff reaction must be enough for Karol to realize something's wrong, because both his hands instantly fly up to cover his mouth and he looks sorry he said anything at all.

"Oh my gosh, what happened? Is it bad, does it hurt, do you need a doctor or something? W-what can we do?"

Karol looks nearly ready to start panicking at a moment's notice, so despite how her own mind swirls with troubled thoughts, Judith quickly puts on her best Big Sister Smile and does her best to answer simply.

"It was a casualty of battle. It doesn't hurt so much anymore, but for the time being, this makes it so that I am unable to communicate with Ba'ul. The Elder of Myorzo assured me that no treatment is necessary; it's not permanent and they'll grow back to normal within a few months."

Not a single word is a lie, but Judith says it with much more serenity than she feels in an attempt to alleviate Karol's distress. He doesn't look like he's buying into it, though, still shell-shocked and visibly fretting, and when Judith then hears someone else vault up onto the ship, she turns her head to see Yuri staring at her with a furrowed brow and tight lips.

"Judy," Yuri utters slowly as he approaches, "is this okay?"

Judith nods. "It should be fine. Even if I can't hear Ba'ul, he can still hear us. We can still tell him where to go for flying missions, so it shouldn't affect any of our delivery jobs—"

" _Judith_ ," Karol cuts her off, his voice so stern and forceful it makes her stop dead in her tracks. She turns to face him again, and one glance at the steel in his eyes is enough to viciously remind her why he's the boss. "Are _you_ okay?"

Judith gives up then, drops the Big Sister Smile and purses her lips. Of course, they're her boys, and they know how much Ba'ul means to her, and she should have known better than to hope they wouldn't instantly see straight through her.

"I..." Judith takes a deep breath, then manages a small, sad smile that isn't meant to fool anyone. "I _will_ be."

Just give her a few months.

* * *

When nine-year-old Judith first came to Myorzo, she didn't live _in_ the city so much as she lived on the outskirts of it.

She was always welcome inside, but Ba'ul was too large to accommodate anywhere other than the very entrance—and that made Judith's decision for her. She refused the many spare beds she was offered and slept outside, where Ba'ul's body curled protectively around her own. She accepted all the food and clean clothes she was given, but never talked to the people who brought them, only ever nodding her thanks before retreating back in on herself dismissively. She entered town every day with a washbasin but always left as soon as it was filled to bathe herself in the entrance, wishing all the while that she could scrub away memories the same way she scrubbed dirt from her skin.

Nobody in Myorzo tried to reach out to her, but it was Judith who closed herself off in the first place, who pushed everyone else away so it could be only her and Ba'ul. At the time, she didn't fully realize what she was doing to herself. She was just nine, and she had watched her hometown and everyone in it burn to ruin before her very eyes; she was broken and she was traumatized and everyone in Myorzo was a stranger, but Ba'ul was her rescuer and her ever-faithful mental companion and with him she felt so _safe_.

In retrospect, Judith knows it wasn't healthy and it wasn't okay.

Yet now, twenty-three-year-old Judith is falling back on old habits anyway.

She asked Karol and Yuri to just let her have some space for a while, and they're complying, though she can see it's with some hesitance. Judith takes to spending most of her day on the outskirts of Dahngrest, where Ba'ul keeps the ship parked as he rests with his belly to the grass. With their mental connection gone, maintaining a physical one is more crucial than ever—simply being pressed up against his warmth is soothing to her frazzled nerves, and having his large body protectively loom over hers puts her at relative ease as she sleeps the night away in the grass. She's even able to talk to him—if only with her own voice, if only on a surface level—and though he can't talk back, just knowing that he can hear her is _something_.

Ba'ul can hear Judith but Judith can't hear Ba'ul, so she brings paperwork out there with her to have something to do. To distract herself from the thoughts that are now solely her own before they grow too big and too bad. Every few hours, she returns briefly to Brave Vesperia headquarters to turn in what she's finished, take a quick shower or have a brief meal if necessary, and then pick up another few clipboards of paperwork before heading back out.

Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.

Judith knows she's pushing the boys away like this, but without Ba'ul's voice in her head keeping her grounded, she honestly doesn't have it in her to care. For their part, she can see Karol and Yuri doing what they can. They make sure there's always a steaming hot bowl ready for her to scarf down whenever she comes back to headquarters, and they keep her mind off of things with business talk in between bites. At the end of the week, those two even get Estelle to make the trip to Dahngrest from the capital, and Judith doesn't complain because it's worth a shot, but nobody's really surprised when her healing artes don't work.

They all know that no matter how powerful Estelle's magic is, she can't fix everything: she can't clear up an allergic reaction, and she can't cure the common cold. Restoring detached appendages is also, understandably, out of her league.

They'll grow back anyway on their own, Judith knows that and _clings_ to that, but every day that passes seems longer than the last. She feels like a cripple, and in the most technical sense, perhaps she actually is. She tries to look on the bright side, tries to assure herself that at least it's not permanent. At least it wasn't an arm or a leg. At least it wasn't something that wouldn't be able to grow back.

But with how empty her mind is, Judith is beginning to think she would have _happily_ given up any of her limbs forever so long as it meant she didn't have to deal with this _silence_ , this loneliness that so plagues her every waking moment. She never realized before, just how hard it is to fight off the demons in your head when you're the only one fighting them, when there isn't another voice instantly piping up and setting you straight every time you start drifting into a bad place.

Frankly, Judith doesn't know how everyone else does it.

Whether it was the mission to destroy Hermes blastia, or the struggle of moving past previous trauma, or simply being there for each other because they didn't have anyone else, Judith and Ba'ul _needed_ each other. She knew that from the start, but only now is she really realizing just how dangerous that need actually is, how devastated it makes her once she's deprived of it.

"...I love you," Judith murmurs, momentarily giving up on the paperwork. She lets the clipboard fall from her grasp and then presses her hands to Ba'uls chin, somberly pressing kisses to his scales. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I'm so _sorry_..."

Ba'ul gently nudges her back as best he can with his huge face, and Judith accepts the gesture for what she knows it is: love, and assurance, and _solidarity_.

They're cut off from each other, but at the very least, they're cut off from each other together.

* * *

A couple days after Estelle shows up, Rita shows up too.

Judith's not sure how the guys managed to track her down, because Rita was on an extensive research trip and when she's on one of those, it's almost impossible to figure out which facility she'll be at when. But clearly, they somehow managed to get in contact with her, and now she's _here_ , storming up to Judith rather determinedly, as a similarly determined but distinctly less _intense_ Estelle trails closely behind her.

Judith doesn't even have the chance to say anything before Rita is on her, tossing the clipboard to the side and yanking on Judith's hand as if to pull her to her feet. Judith remains firmly seated on the ground and furrows her brow in confusion; knowing Rita, she had expected a vicious tongue-lashing, complete with reprimands and insults and rants about _how dare you not tell your own girlfriend about this_. She hadn't expected...whatever this is.

Judith sighs. "What do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like? We're staging an intervention."

Rita calls back at Estelle to come help her, then goes right back to tugging at Judith's arm, all the while muttering under her breath, "Honestly, those guys. 'Give her some space' my _ass_! What were they _thinking_?!"

Judith halfheartedly tries to tug her hand back, to no success. "Rita, you don't—"

"Finish that sentence and I swear, _I will punch you in the fucking throat_ ," Rita hisses, eyes blazing with sudden fury. "Don't you _dare_ try telling me I don't understand because I do, I understand that for the first time in ages, you're alone inside your own head, and I understand that the very _last_ thing you need right now is to be alone _outside_ it too!"

...Okay, so maybe Rita has a point. But this isn't just about Judith, either.

"I _won't_ leave Ba'ul alone," Judith insists, glaring, because as much as she loves Rita she needs Rita to know she _means this_. Her own dependence on Ba'ul is one thing, but in Ba'ul's case, he has _nobody_ to depend on aside from her.

Rita just glares right back, scowling with the promise that she is not done here. Judith refuses to back off, though, and the tension of their staredown is only broken when Estelle audibly sighs and begins to speak.

"Ba'ul, can we please borrow Judith for few hours?" Estelle has her head tilted up when Judith turns to look at her, and it looks as if she's trying, with minimal success, to make eye contact with the far larger Entelexeia. "We know you two are best friends and this is hard for both of you, but we're Judith's friends, too. We just want to help."

Several seconds pass in silence, but Ba'ul does give a vocal cry of response. Judith purses her lips, hating how she's not able to translate, but Estelle visibly lights up.

"Thank you!" Estelle chimes, bowing to Ba'ul. "We promise to have her back by sunset." Estelle quickly moves to help Rita by grabbing Judith's other hand, then mutters, almost to herself, "Could you all keep him company while we're gone?"

Judith blinks in confusion, but when a familiar group of spirits instantly materialize before her very eyes, she's left with an unhinged jaw. Of course, Estelle has a telepathic connection with the Four Great Spirits, and the Four Great Spirits have a telepathic connection with Ba'ul—so right now, Estelle can actually understand Ba'ul.

For a brief moment, Judith looks at Estelle and has never been more envious in her life.

But at that point, resistance is clearly futile, so Judith gives up and lets Rita and Estelle drag her all the way back to Brave Vesperia. They don't release her until they're inside the headquarter's kitchen, and Judith curiously takes in the sight before her. Two rectangular tables have been set up on opposite sides of the room, mixing bowls and various ingredients spread out over each of them, and Yuri stands leaned up against the far table while Karol and Raven sit at the round dining table and Repede lies at their feet on the floor.

Everyone's looking at her expectantly, so Judith sighs. "Fine, I'll bite. What is all this?"

"It's a cook-off!" Karol chimes instantly, eagerly, as if he was just _waiting_ for his cue. "You and Yuri are the best cooks we know, so you two are gonna formally compete with each other! And the rest of us will judge."

Judith quirks a brow incredulously. True, she enjoys cooking, but really? _This_ is their attempt to cheer her up?

"You all are just hungry, aren't you?" Judith mutters, tone more than a hint condescending and doubtful as she crosses her arms. She realizes how unnecessarily rude it is moment it leaves her mouth—they want to help, they're her family and they love her, even without a telepathic connection she knows without a doubt that they all truly _love_ her. But honestly, anything she cooks while in her current mood will probably taste just as horrible as she feels, and that won't help anyone.

Raven grins. "Well, we _have_ been missing your delicious dishes lately..." He sounds as if he's only half-joking, and Rita slugs him in the shoulder for it.

"What?" Yuri drawls, smirking at her reluctance. "Scared you can't beat me?"

Judith narrows her eyes. It's an incredibly transparent ploy, but somehow, it gets her all worked up anyway, lights up a fierce fire inside her chest where there had moments ago been nothing but cold emptiness. "I know you're baiting me."

"Yeah?" Yuri grins wider. "So is it working?"

Judith purses her lip ever so slightly; she swears her competitive nature is going to be the end of her someday. "You know I'm no good at lying."

"Great!" Estelle chimes, snatching up an apron from the near table and holding it by the collar out towards Judith. "Come on, then get suited up."

Judith doesn't make a move for the apron, but she also doesn't bother to put up a fuss when Estelle slings the thing over her head for her. At least, not until she looks down to see the upside-down but distinctive words _KISS THE COOK_ printed on the front, and Judith gapes as she realizes her mistake.

"Oh, you all are _such_ —"

"Too late!" Estelle proclaims, instantly leaning in to plant her lips onto Judith's cheek, and Judith bites back a groan at having been so thoroughly played.

It's tradition: whoever gets caught in the apron _must_ be smothered in kisses by everyone else, ever since that first time when Yuri bought and wore the apron for a laugh and then the rest of them proceeded to do as the apron commanded for a laugh of their own (Yuri's red cheeks and positively _floored_ expression once they were all done with him is still one of Judith's fondest memories). This family is _stubborn_ too, and she wouldn't be able to get away if she tried, so Judith resigns herself and prepares for the slaughter.

Karol's somewhat shy about it, but he's the next to make his move, kissing her sweetly on the opposite cheek Estelle did. Rita then throws her arms around Judith's neck, yanking her down to press her lips firmly to Judith's own before quickly pulling back with a wink. Raven bends down on one knee to offer his hand, and Judith can't help the smile that creeps over her lips as she humors him, placing her hand in his to let him place a chaste kiss to her knuckles like a true gentleman knight. She's not sure what she's expecting when Repede then dashes up to her, but she can't help laughing when he playfully licks her leg. And finally, Yuri, her competition, saunters up to her and tilts his chin to deliver a quick peck to her forehead.

"Sneaks," Judith grumbles, more to herself than anything, because whatever bite might have been behind her words before is completely gone now.

"Tell it to Rita," Yuri says. "This was her idea."

Judith glances back at the accused, who only rolls her eyes. "Someone had to kick some sense into her and it clearly wasn't going to be you guys."

Despite herself, Judith lets out a soft, defeated chuckle—but a smack to her back quickly brings her to attention, and she turns to narrow her eyes at a smirking Yuri.

"Now," he says, "can we hurry up and get to the part where I kick your ass?"

Judith quirks a brow. Yeah, her competitive nature is _definitely_ going to be the end of her.

"Such confidence," Judith taunts, the banter coming back to her easily despite the recent lack of practice, and retaliates with a playful punch to Yuri's chest. "It should be fun, crushing that boastful heart of yours."

"Ohhhh, it is _on_!"

* * *

Judith needs Ba'ul more than she has and will ever need anyone else, but he's not the only one in her support network.

More specifically, her support network also consists of her family full of well-meaning, obstinate oddballs who now absolutely _refuse_ to let her cut them out. "All for the guild and the guild for all," as Karol and Yuri _never_ let her forget, so as they push their way into her space, Judith learns not to try pushing them back. Karol assigns her solely to flying delivery missions, on which either he or Yuri always accompanies her. At headquarters, Repede even takes to jumping on her and licking her face even more than usual (which, according to Yuri, is a little habit the dog picked up back when he used to lick the teenaged Yuri out of his own doldrums).

Judith still sleeps on the outskirts of Dahngrest with Ba'ul, but often, either Yuri or Karol or both come out there to join her, armed with tents and bedrolls and wood for a campfire before she can even try to stop them. Other times, Raven is the one who comes waltzing up to her to camp out, complaining and moaning all the way about how Altosk is running him into the ground and he needs to get away, purposely and overdramatically exaggerating his own woes because he knows perfectly well that it makes her laugh. And when Judith gets the free time for another joyride, Estelle and Rita are invited for an exclusive, no-boys-allowed sleepover roadtrip on the Fiertia, where Estelle plays translator between Judith and Ba'ul until her throat is hoarse and Rita squeezes Judith's hand in silent, steady support.

There's a reason Judith considers these people as her family. Ba'ul is family too, of course, but even though he was the one who saved her life, it was these people who really taught her how to live again. Clearly, they're going to continue teaching her, again and again and again, as many times as they have to until it sticks—and Judith thinks that if she had lost her antennae anytime before she found them, before Estelle and Yuri and Karol and Raven and Rita came into her life, she wouldn't have been able to last.

But Judith doesn't want to think about that so she does her best not to, and instead directs her attention to how her antennae look in the mirror as the days pass. One month goes by, and then two—and by the end of the third, her antennae have become so much fuller and longer, finally reaching down to around the middle of her back, practically starting to taper at the ends. They still look a little weary for ware, but they're clearly and steadily recovering, so all Judith has to do is hold on until she can use the nageeg again.

And she does.

It's when she and her family are on a reunion trip, sitting around having lunch on the Fiertia, that Judith is suddenly hit with a tendril of mild annoyance and the distinct feeling of something getting in her eye. She instinctively brings her hand up to her eye to rub it in response before going straight back to eating, and she almost doesn't realize that anything was notable about the thought until it strikes her with sudden, overwhelming clarity, that the thing that got in "her" eye was a seagull.

Judith immediately reaches out with her mind, and to her utter shock and delight, Ba'ul's mind actually reaches back.

From there it's a whirl of feelings and sentiments, myriad signals from both ends quickly pouring in. The connection is sort of still flimsy, Judith can tell, but it will only get stronger as her antennae regain their luster, and now they're telling each other everything they've been dying to say these past four months, thoughts of _I missed you, it's been so hard, oh thank heavens_ swirling and blending until they become simple, single, shared joy. Judith can't tell where her own thoughts end and his begin but it doesn't matter because they're _theirs_ ; they are united, one in mind, just as it was before and just as it always should be _._

Eventually, Judith settles on a string that is distinctly her own, one of _I'm sorry, I messed up, I'm so sorry Ba'ul—_

But she feels his forgiveness so instantly—it's so great to be able to feel that again, to have instantly Ba'ul stop her bad thoughts in their tracks—as he assures, _It wasn't your fault. It just happened_. _If we're talking about taking responsibility, I must hasten in my own attempts to learn how to speak human language so that you can hear me when you need it._

_And I'll be more careful from now on,_ Judith replies, _so hopefully you won't have to._

"Woah, Judith, what's wrong?"

Karol's voice rings in her ears and Estelle's gentle hand shakes her shoulders, and that's what sends Judith tumbling back down to earth, where she abruptly realizes everyone is staring at her. She glances down at herself—her spoon is still filled with rice and carrot and beef and is stopped in midair, halfway to her mouth; Judith blinks and her eyes unexpectedly overflow and she realizes for the first time that she's crying.

Judith doesn't cry easily or often, and even less so when actually in the presence of others. Her family knows this—as far as she can remember they've all only seen her cry once, maybe twice before. It must be a shock, but she doesn't care how ridiculous or strange she must look sobbing over curry, because Ba'ul is in her head again, filling that hole where she'd been empty for so _so_ long, sewing up the ripped seams inside of her until she's finally and fully _whole_.

"Hey, hey, seriously?" Raven mutters. "Did...did I make the sauce too spicy or something?" He didn't actually mean that as a joke, if the worried look on his face is any indication, but Judith can't help laughing anyway.

"No! No, it's okay." Judith quickly wipes her tears away and grins, putting down her spoon to gesture to her own near-recovered antennae. "I'm _okay_."

She watches the whole process: the slow realization that comes to all their faces, and then the identical grins that are probably a perfect mirror image of her own—and then before Judith even knows it, Estelle's arms are hugging her tight, and on her other side, Rita quickly does the same, and then Raven and Karol and Yuri are also crowding around until Judith is drowning in the center of a fleshy congratulatory dogpile.

_Well, it was nice knowing you,_ Ba'ul pipes up in her head, and she can feel him—oh, it's so _wonderful_ to feel him—laughing at her.

Judith laughs too—aloud and for everyone, the others even joining in—as she jokes back, _At least I died doing what I loved._

After all: Ba'ul is back, and Judith's world is bright, and in the end, family group hugs are still her one of her favorite things in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> [ the awesome art by ravenbow/ravesperia @ tumblr](http://bbtales.tumblr.com/post/147825527133/artist-ravenbow-art-blog-illustration-for-the/)


End file.
